THE NEW CREW
THE RETURN
Maybe it is apropos that my last blog post was called the Return
of the Mavris (os)? So, I am back at
it both in the form of a blog post and in WOW!
The addiction that I kicked for 3 years has me back hook, line, and
sinker! After 3 years of NOT raiding in
progressive content, I felt a bit like an outsider in my own guild. I should put the word ‘own’ in quotes as I
basically relinquished any leadership duties and status when I stopped playing
for this long stretch; the longest break I have ever taken from WOW to date.
I now have a steady girlfriend, who is very busy with work
during the week which means, plenty of time for WOW for me!
WHO THE F AM I?
So, who is this Mav dude right? I bet my old blog entries explain most of it
and I won’t even hyperlink them as I cannot even remember which ones told which
stories, plus everyone should read them all anyway. J I will do an update of who I am though and
what I was doing in my 2-3 year hiatus besides cursing as the terrible
execution of the xpac WOD. In a nutshell
though, I have been in Broken a long time (since BC), at some point I became an
Officer, then official Raid Leader, then CO-GL.
Then a long break and I was never removed from guild nor by rank. I thank my buddy, my pal, my confidant
Bloodrooted for retaining hope I would return one day. I can honestly say it has been both fun and
challenging meeting all the new members of Broken. Many old personalities are gone and I miss
many of them, some not so much, like Waldo and Libentina and Misantropik and
Bukklao, the list goes on and on. I
dearly miss my friend Vapes who has not made a reappearance. I hold out hope for that Aussie bastard to
return, but I fear his wife has cut his nuts off and stuck them on the barbie. I am really glad to see a few of my old
buddies from ~10 years ago here in Wornight , Stranglehorn, and Ishen. It warms the cockles of my heart and the
shorn skin of my testes to see and play with them again. Speaking of shorn scrotums, I do hope you gentlemen
of Broken do trim your nether areas for your ladies….
At this point, I feel that I have a good understanding of
most of the folks in our raid/guild group so I will do what I do best…..blog
and pontificate and over exaggerate on some of our beloved guildies…
Also, I poop myself sometimes. Don’t judge and do not pretend it has not
happened to you. Poop, it happens..
THE PLAYERS
DISCLAIMER: No
offense should be taken to anything and everything I say. Also, forgive me if I do not write about you,
I just do not know enough about you to write about……yet……give me time.
Who do I start with????
In no specific order…..
Rex – Jack of all trades and master of all. First of all, Rex gets it. All his toons start with “Rex” so he is
forever ‘Rex’ and we all know his alts just by the virtue of him logging
on. Yours truly started this trend many
years ago but didn’t get the proper credit.
;) Seriously though, why doesn’t
everyone do that? Val is no longer Selv,
he is Val. I mean, I would get confused
if one week I was Mavros* then the next tier or xpac I was called SuttSutt, you
know? Anyway, back to Rex. I don’t want to overinflate his head, but this
dude can play anything. I feel like he
should be writing How-To books. 101 ways
to do XYZ. 101 Ways to Play a
Druid. 101 Ways to Properly Berate your
Tank in raid and 5 mans. 101 Sexual
Positions with full diagrams! Did I go
too far? Always… Beware though! He can get salty!
Bigg – Formerly known as Jak, he is now Bigg (yes 2 gg’s,
seems apropos for WOW) I think he
finally settled on a main toon after mage, hunter, warrior, and now DH
experiments. If not, we may tell Rex to
berate him more and we all send him DP’s.
Bigg has shown some great commitment to the spec and the guild as of
late. WTF, I am inflating everyone’s
head so far! Don’t worry, Val’s writeup
is coming. As a newly inked official tank
of Broken (applause for Bigg) to be paired with the talented Dr. Truf, Bigg has
stepped up to help Broken in recruitment and running M+ guild groups. I can’t lie, I do wonder, is he indeed, “big”
or he is overcompensating. Time will
tell….
Val – aka Mr. Wet Suit.
After I posted a picture of myself and GF Mavros, he proceeded to one up
me with a picture of his wife and himself in wet suits. What should have been considered fun and
provocative, the wet suit hugged at his ball and taint area so snuggly that I
did not sleep for 2 nights. Val is half
a ninja. One minute he is in game, the
next he is gone without a trace. It finally
makes sense why he wanted to main switch to rogue. I suspect he wishes he could stealth while
playing WOW so his better half couldn’t see him. Just my opinion. So, Val can be summed up like this:
Raid
Leader: Ok, ready check. Uhm, where did Val go??
Raid: He left, he said, “sorry g2g and logged”
Raid
Leader: WTF???
Val
Friend: I got a text, his roof is
leaking.
Raid: Probably his eyes watering
when his wife punched him in the stomach for playing WOW rather than rubbing
her bunions.
Raid Leader: Sigh, let’s just go.
<BOSS DIES!! CHEERS!>
Val: I am back!
What did I miss?
Raid: /facepalm
Whapa – Every time he logs on I want to yell
WHEEEEEPAAAA!!! A solid hybrid player
that is pretty quiet, but I am pretty sure he eats at Burger King regularly. Get it?? Just like, “That squirrel Invasion
was Nuts, get it??” It really is a-corny
joke. ;)
Do I need to say something positive about everything since it is 2017
and everyone has feelings? Well, I do
wish Whapa was around more, I think he has the mojo. I do think every time a new boss dies he
should scream WHEEPA over discord.
Sins – I do not even know the name of his shaman. It really is a silly name, you know what, no,
it’s a flat out dumb name and not one person knows it nor calls him by it. We should start a petition to get him to
change it to Sins or a variation of Sins.
To me and I think all of us, Sins is forever Sins and forever a Pally in
my mind, heart, and soul. I feel at
night while he dreams, he is haunted by Divine Storms and Hammers of Justice
and Lay on Hands (that are Blood’s).
Relatively quiet, mostly wants serious business and extreme focus, and oftentimes
grumpy and ornery. (we hear he is
getting married soon….lucky girl…..ugh)
I still remember interviewing him a long time ago and he was so….……”out
of it” that he doesn’t even remember it.
Even after all of this, the guy knows how to DPS and even more
importantly, he knows who to blame if his dps is not high or the highest on a
certain fight. No one is safe from Sins
if he is not #1 on the meters.
Interesting fact, he raids listening to OH CANADA! while draped in the Canadian
flag. See below:
Denny – Very new to Broken, but another excellent player
(and another meter maid!). Him and Sins
compare d*ck sizes on every fight. It
typically sounds like this, “Dude, I procced 453 times and you procced 789
times, that is the only reason you beat me!
Unzip pants…look how big it is!”
We all tune them out as they size each other up both playing the OP enhancement
shaman class. Way to pick the OP dps
class and then brag how good you are, that is like telling someone you have the
biggest weiner after you got penile growth surgery. (again, do not judge) All in all, I like Denny, he has a great sense
of humor and in his free time he creeps on people from his car in school parking
lots while gaming. I mean, what is not
there to like?
Mal – Your friendly neighborhood shadow priest that sometimes S2M’s a bit early. Here is an example:
RANDOM BOSS FIGHT
Mal – Uh, guys, I am dead…
Raid – Rez MAL!
Mal – I cannot be rezzed….
Raid – Uh, Mal, the boss is at
80%....
Mal – I surrendered too early….
Raid - /facepalm
He is my competition for highest M+. I liked him a lot more until he got a +12 and
I have not completed a +12 yet. Mal is a
guy that is around and available and always willing to get sh*t done. I like people like Mal. Good addition to Broken.
Eternalrest – ET for short.
I recently found out his toon in WOD was Shiftie, I heard about some
dude named Shiftie in my MIA days during WOD, but did not make the connection
until recently. There were “stories”,
but of course I barely recall anything now, I blame liquor. ET I feel like was first everything in Broken
when Legion began. First to max a Demon
Hunter, top guild iLevel, top guild DPS, top played time for Legion, most
legendaries, fastest to level professions, etc.
When ET puts his mind and fingers to it, he gets it done! However, there is an awesome metamorphosis
(get it?) that does take place as the raid night gets later and later. I am not sure if he dips into some booze or
other indulgences, but he starts busting chops on everyone and lays fire to
people. No one is safe when he
transforms into this beast! It is really
funny though and I always look forward to the next transformation!
Ent – I do not even know his full toon name, I think it is a play on matador or troubadour. He is another that I sing a jingle to when he logs in. “You down with E-N-T, YEAH, you know me!” Crazy shit like that always comes to my head, not sure why. Could be the booze. Anyway, ENT has an awesome sense of humor. You cannot help to laugh when he talks or chimes in on something. Always poignant and funny and this Spanish cat (I think he is of Spanish decent) can fing heal! My goal is to beat ENT on meters, but we don’t compare d*ck sizes like the male enhancement shaman (get it?) players in Broken. He has been gone for awhile, we are worried, we hope he comes back, I miss me some ENT.
Vexyr/Nerghal – Why lump the locks together? Because all locks look alike that is why! It is also because to me, right now, I have not had enough 1 on 1 time with either and both to write up separate personas for each. Give it time! They jump in raid, do what locks do best, mid-range dps with talks that next tier will be the best one for spec X and they will top meter like in BC, but the reality is, they only get invited to raid for cookies and summons portals, right? Poor locks, I do sympathize though, I was a lock as my first toon ever in Vanilla (Mavrosdeath). I miss dpsing. There would be much satisfaction in beating Sins on the meters on some fights. I encourage you all to berate him if you do.
Dam – New hunter in guild, he is cool, a true pugmaster, it is even on his resume. “I pug therefore I am, so hire me bitch!” Pugs more than me which is saying a lot!
Theo – Most even tempered, happy go lucky guy I ever met in game. I wish Theo was my neighbor because currently I want to sh*t in my neighbor’s lawn and on the hood of his car and in his mouth. Oops, sidetracked, retracting that anger! Theo is the type of raider that would get the participation award after every tier. He is there, does his business, doesn’t complain, does the jobs no one else wants to do, but isn’t the key reason the team won yet has value. Do not get me wrong though, Theo isn’t a noob or just there, he does theorycraft and compares notes with Val. I will give you the special sauce Theo…raid in a wet suit and win and link logs in guild chat.
Bristol – Bristol is the guy I want to be my neighbor opposite of Theo! Fellow healer and the man with the feasts. Hard to find a nicer guy. Waiting to see his dark side still…
Trem/Huggabull – He makes flasks for me then doesn’t log into game for weeks at a time until I need more. ;) I think I still owe him mats or gold or a handie. Your choice Trem!
Nice part of his entry=Very helpful guy!
Kaizr - I mean is it not obvious? When he logs in, there he is, the elusive Kaizr Soze! Still getting to know this quiet hunter. I am half expecting him to just speak in only Usual Suspects quotes. I am cautious though of Kaizer. Never forget, “I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him.' Well, I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Söze”.
Kualija – I still do not know how her toon name is pronounced. I always think of “Calogero” from Bronx tale for some reason as the proper proununciation. Anyway, Kua is good people that helps when needed.
Tok – Another fellow healer, glad to see him return as the healing stable currently looks like one horse standing around named Ishen and another healer Mav trying to milk it hoping more healers pop out out. Does that imagery even make sense?
Uproot – Limited time with the Root. “Let’s get to the ROOT of the problem --2nd boss DHT emote). Talented player and tank and was similar to ET on doing so many things first in Legion within Broken, but that voice… I had him record for me while reading a raid strat and I play it back when I cannot sleep! He is on break, we hope to see him again.
Freggos – Freggo my Eggo!! YES, I said it first and thought of it first. All others owe me royalties! In MOP, I nicknamed my spell on my Holy Paladin when I met Freggos to Lay on Freggos. I think he secretly wants to tank or is jealous of all the attention his wife gets as a tank so he pulls aggro or tries to die. I don’t know, but I do know I no longer have a holy pally, but my battle rez is especially reserved for my main man here! So, if I am slow to brez you or do not do it at all, it is because it is reserved for Freggos! Much love though, he sends me beer packages from Oklahoma. Yes, Oklahoma, people DO live there AND on purpose.
Truf – Another toon that I barely know her real toon name. I think someone called her truffle shuffle once and that was it, forever, like being a Goonie, it is forever! So, Truf, she is a RL Doctor by degree, but in my mind she just digs up stuff of stuff we know already existed. It’s like raiding Dragon Soul now and saying, OMG, look, it is Deathwing! He WAS real. Much love here too, Freggos and Truf are two people I have raided with for a long time…..
Wornight – Believe it or not, this corny joked DK was once an officer of Broken. One too many bad jokes though and he had to be removed. I am glad to see Wornight back in the saddle with Broken. Always breaking the silence and wind with some awful, terrible, juvenile, worst jokes of all time. If you think he is being serious for even 5 minutes, he is trolling you. On a side note, he gets it too! His toons are Worloch, Wordin, and Wornight. We don’t call him Wor though. Maybe he doesn’t get it afterall. I retract all I just said.
Stranglehorn – I worked hard to get Horn to return to WOW and Broken in WOD due to flexible raids, then I left the game. Sorry Horn! He is also an ex-officer of Broken, but moved on to go hardcore
Me: Horn, what class and spec this xpac?
Horn: Druid and Feral.
Me: Dude, did you see it’s the most complicated
rotation ever in history of wow? Like 45 abilities and 63 CDs and a roar to keep up while DOING all those abilities and
managing CDs?!
Horn:
Yes I did, Druid and feral
Me (next tier): HORN!?
Holy crap, they are nerfing feral to be the lowest dps! Like lower than elemental shamans! What are you going to do???
Horn:
Yes I am aware, Druid and Feral.
Got to love a man that knows what he wants and what he is. He did tell me once, he looks like a bear in RL. I guess it makes sense then. Thankfully, I do not look like a troll or a tree in RL, but then again, my ex-wife may disagree…
Blood – I mean, I wrote a whole blog post about Blood! The Bromance. What is there left to say? We talk on the phone about life, liberty, love, children, sexual positions, pooping, the pursuit of happiness, and Broken. So, what is so weird about that, right? Actually, we talk about all of you!
Ok, just kidding, just Val mainly. I am glad he kept it all together and even promoted a few people like Sins (for whatever reason) and Freggos to Sergeant and obviously Ish to Officer.
CONCLUSION - ALL LOVE
So, there it is….more eventually as I get to know others and new folks that come along. It is an honor to share this guild and game with you all. Second disclaimer, all contents in here are for an attempt at humor and to build a sort of history for Broken through blogging. Now back to your regularly televised show…Gilmore Girls (Bigg’s favorite btw!).
-Mav
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