Tuesday, April 22, 2014

If you shake more than 3 times…..








Intro

An off the beaten path blog post, but here goes as I feel this is information than can longer be contained by the few and must be shared with our fellow brothers.  It has come up many times in raid vent that men, as they enter their more mature years (30+), begin to have this phenomenon happen called “dripping” or “leaking”.  This blog post will outline the problem and a potential solution to this dilemma plaguing all these mature men.

Dripping??  WTF??

What is dripping/leaking you ask?  It is the aftermath of what happens once a man finishes with #1 and shakes 10, 15, even up to 20 times, and then stuffs his appendage back into his pants or through his zipper, then the appendage, as if it has a mind of its own, proceeds to let our more liquid out in the underwear or pants if underwear was not worn or already discarded due to a prior accident. ;).  Sometimes a few drops slip out, sometimes a stream big enough to fill 1/8 cup, sometimes you feel like you were just peed on by a raised leg dog.  It is an affliction, dare I say, a disease, but there is hope.   It has to be a horrible feeling knowing you made it to the bathroom yet SOMEHOW just pissed yourself.

Solution

I do not know where I heard about this or why it even works, but I swear it does.  It does involve a little more touching though, so those not comfortable with themselves may want to stop reading or continue to pee themselves.  Once you finish #1 and shake 10-20 times, place your respective index fingers under your testes where the testes meet the shaft and push upward.  A squirt of liquid will come out, the size and breath of the stream will vary and could be directly correlated to how hard you tug upward (more testing is necessary and clinical trials haven’t commenced yet).  Repeat this thrust 5 times until no more liquid emerges and VOILA, no more yellow stain!  This may confuse those that use the yellow stain as a marker for ‘FRONT’ on their underwear, but it’ll keep you fresh and dry.  Now YOU know and knowing is half the battle!  GI Joe!  The Real American Hero!

2 comments:

  1. Good tactic. I'll have to try this soon. My problem is more this. I take my piss with nary a leak, but I still feel like more piss is coming, and there I stand, holding, waiting,
    but 'lo, the well hath runneth dry. And yet, my brain, my bladder, my whole being, everything is still sending me signals that I still have a few more drops to squeeze out. YOU MUST PEE MORE, my brain says, THERE IS CLEARLY MORE COMING! And so I stand, often for a good minute longer, waiting, pushing, until finally that last squirt emerges. It fucking sucks in the middle of the night, standing there for two minutes, just wishing you could go back to bed, but afraid that you'll piss the expensive duvet. My wife suggested sitting down to pee, but fuck that--I'm a man goddamn it. I WILL NOT SIT AND PEE!

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  2. Another thing to try to completely relax the muscles in the area if possible. The tension can hold back that last bit lurking in there just waiting to leave a nice stain. I've dealt with both, where you think you're done and then...sprinkle. Then I've also had the fun of standing there shaking like HADES because THERE IS MORE PEE, PEE GODDAMNIT, WHY THE FUCK WON'T ANYMORE URINE COME OUT, I KNOW IT'S IN THERE!!!

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